Leila needs . . .

16Mar09

Now here’s a fun little meme, and one that proves to me that you can hocum yourself with just about anything – i.e. you see what you want to see, and the simplest and broadest sets of data can set you off on an odd mental trail that helps you realise some insights into yourself and your behaviour. Thus with fortune-telling . . . you pick the relevant data and apply it to yourself, and ignore the rest!

Marina over at Pecked by Ducks ran this a couple of weeks ago, and I thought I’d pick it up and play with it a while. It’s simple and fun. Go to google, type in ‘<your name> needs’ and search. What do the needs that are listed mean to you?

leila_frank-dicksee

Here’s what I got:

Leila needs to play her wild card …

Leila needs to pay attention to the little details …

Leila needs a strong motive …

Leila needs a friend …

Leila needs to learn some interview skills …

Leila needs a scientist ….

Leila needs vodka ….

Leila needs something to fill in the gap …

Leila needs to be the princess ….

Leila needs a role model ….

Leila needs to do her homework …

Leila needs to be more aggressive ….

 

What does this set of needs tell me about myself? Why pick these out as relevant over any others? Some, simply, were funny (Leila needs a vodka, for example, appealed purely because after a weekend of hedonistic enjoyment, reality isn’t as much fun and I could use something to numb the impact 😉 )

Other things speak to me on a deeper level. For example, the idea of needing a role model, of being more aggressive and of doing my homework resonate in terms of my textile art – I need to find someone successful in the same/similar field, with a similar business model to my own, and understand how it is that they are successful and what I can learn from them to help me on my way. I need to do my homework – understand what the market wants, needs & expects in more detail and focus my work towards meeting that a little more in order to trigger some orders, rather than pleasing myself at almost every turn, and hoping that enough like-minded people react in the same way, and with sufficient strength, to place orders and commissions with me. And I need to be more aggressive in my marketing, in following through and following up on contacts, at self-publicity when the occasion presents – for example, I need to be a bit more confident in talking about my work to random people and in dishing out business cards at every available opportunity . . .

Other areas are those of self-recognition – I need a friend is less about needing and making new friends, and more about recognising that I am not ‘an Ilande, entire and whole of myself’ – I need my friends (and my family) to support and understand me, and I need to give them that same support and understanding – mutual aid and benefit. And understanding that at times I do need to be the ‘princess’, to be at the centre of things, and to get recognition and reward for the things I do, for my achievements, large and small. This includes recognising them in myself, and acknowledging them internally, as well as the external validations and lauds of others. Needing a strong motive is clear. If I don’t have one, I don’t move, and I think I’ve learned the lesson well enough over the years that there’s a strong distinction between ‘want’ and ‘need’, and also that in the list of ‘things I’d like to do’, there always has to be some sort of prioritisation, and I need to examine my motivation for wanting to do these apparently incompatible activities, understand the drive, and work out how to either realise it (given sufficiently strong motives) or to translate that need into something that is more compatible with my current lifestyle, commitments and routines.

The other needs all relate to my writing. I need to play a wild card in the sense that I must dig deeper and further into the ideas and sweet-spot areas that spark my muse, to try to let go of my more rational, controlling self and drop the barriers of fear etc that stop me going too far into my nightmares and downloading them into my stories. I’m not talking about any sort of catharsis here, any sort of personal therapy or resolution, just to be more in touch with the creatures of my deep imagination and to let them out into the stories – where it’s probably a safer environment for them to explore the limits and boundaries of their capability. To do so does not endow them with any special power to escape and become real.  Interviewing skills I need in relation to my characters, to get more sense of who they are and what they want, and how that interacts with and drives on the conflicts inherent to the story set-up – that will bring more depth into my writing, as will paying more attention to the little details of setting and grammar and sentence structure. The scientist is the part that applies method, coherence and structure over the top of the stories, that changes them from well-written but pointless sketches into fully-fledged and marketable stories, and Holly’s course is working on that side.

Hmmmm.

This came out much more in depth than I thought it would – a simple and fun meme has triggered a number of thoughts and recognitions about myself and my work that I need to keep in mind. As such, a useful exercise!

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