Rushes – 19th Jan

20Jan10

I wish I could make my days slow down. (hmm, perhaps if I did less ….) (yeah, right, as if!)

Dropped off children, did kitchen cleanup, laundry and hoovering. Photowalk with Bella (posted to photo blog )ย on the way to toddler group – finally it started up again, and she had a great time.

Did some more smocking work for the SOA piece, finally got the section finished – I’m pleased with it, so it’s worth the effort, even if it is miniscule! Managed to get brain in gear and make some notes etc to apply the brain audit stuff into Magpies – phew! Posted to Wardrobe Refashion & Magpies Laundry blog.

Phoned one of the galleries – generally grim news on the sales front, but they do want more corsages/hair clips in spring colours. Must find courage to phone the other one tomorrow. Pretty bummed out by the whole business, and fighting to convince myself that I’m not wasting my time with the whole thing. The poor sales on the pret-a-porter stuff, even despite gallery confidence and enthusiasm, has knocked me a bit, and made me wonder if it was worth investing all that time and effort into them. It doesn’t help that this week has been difficult, as Bella has transitioned her routine again … first, she stopped sleeping in the early afternoon, but was content to have quiet time with DVD/TV while I worked, but now that just won’t do, and I can’t count on more than an hour at a time to work on things. Given that I feel to implement even a part of the Brain Alchemy workshop means spending more time on the business, I’ve got all deafeatist about the whole thing and feel like jacking it in. The only available other time I have is in the evenings, but that is and has always been sacrosanct writing time.

I feel like I need to choose between one or the other, because to do both WELL on a part-time basis is impossible, but I can’t bear the thought of giving either of them up completely, so now I feel a little bit lost in the middle of nowhere.

Ballet class – fab-U-lous, and helped me to calm, centre and pick up my mood a little. Possibly, just by de-stressing my posture, I’ve de-stressed my mind as well?
ย 
1 scene on Sere tonight, reviewed plot scene cards, scrapped five scenes, discovered I’d miscounted and was starting from 69 rather than 65. Sheesh. Now need to write 5 scenes per week to finish by the end of Feb. Yikes! But the scene I did write worked well, and the plotting looks good for the ride in, so I think it’ll come along without too much fuss (famous last words).

Apologies for the long post – I have been the very busy spider today

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4 Responses to “Rushes – 19th Jan”

  1. 1 Erin

    I sympathize with you feeling like you need to choose one or the other. I’ve often felt like that with my freelancing and my writing — and since the freelancing currently brings in more money, the writing always gets short shrift. And then I get grumpy and snappish at the family.

    One of the things that’s made it easier for me is having CG in daycare, but it sounds like you (mostly) enjoy having Bella home with you. Here’s hoping that she gets a new routine yet again that leaves you more time to work.

    • I’m kind of in the same boat, in that I have no income from writing and some from the textile art – and though we’re not dependent on my income, I’m so used to having my “own” money that I don’t like it when I’m not generating as much as I think I could be. It didn’t help that I invested so much time and effort in branching out on the textile front at the back of last year and it’s not paying back immediately – possibly not surprising in the current climate – but it’s still a jolt when the last transition I made, business-wise, worked well immediately. Sigh. It’s difficult not to get down about it, and feel like it’s impossible to do well with one without sacrificing the other but things are already starting to even out a bit … I lose a bit of time earlier in the day, but with the two bigger children cutting back their afterschool activities, I get some time after they come home to work on the sewing, and Bella does start day-care in September, so I’m kind of hanging on to that – it will pass!! (and there is something very cute in her taking my hand and saying “you play me now mummy” – how can I resist? ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

  2. 3 Erin

    With freelancing, it’s not unusual for it to take a year or two to hear back from a marketing push, and that’s awfully frustrating. So I understand about wanting an immediate response and not getting it. It will come; you’re good at what you do.

    September’s not that far away . . .

    • Thanks! I was reading somewhere that Zoe Keating (the cellist) spends half of her time marketing her work … I’m a long way off that, but I’m coming round to the idea that I need to do more of it (hence the brain alchemy course), and that comes under the category of ‘work and not fun’ rather than the sewing itself, which *is* fun.

      And yes, September will roll around far too quickly ๐Ÿ˜‰


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